Babies and children grow into trusting and trustworthy adults when they consistently experience, through the words and actions of their parents and caregivers, that adults can be trusted to meet their emotional and physical needs.

When we promptly and willingly respond to their requests for help, support and gentle care – around the clock – we provide them with an innate learning experience that allows their growing brain to absorb the trust message. Babies and children are shaped by the care they are given and by the attitudes and actions of the adults who do the caring.

One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is recognizing that babies, toddlers and children have their own timetable for growing into independence–a gradual process that benefits from patience and acceptance of their unique personality traits.  As much as we may wish for a baby, toddler or child to need us less – especially during the night – the reality is that self-regulation and independence develop at a slow pace and require brain maturation. This developmental process cannot be rushed or forced. Instead, compassionate parenting means recognizing the needs of babies and children, often setting aside our own desires to ensure their secure attachment and well-being.

What would it look like to live in a world where the folks around us were trustworthy with the ability to be empathetic and discerning? A world where adults didn’t default to mistrust, doubt and suspicion? Where kindness was the norm, and defensive, angry, or passive aggressive behaviors were not at the forefront of relationships – whether in the home, workplace, in friendships, or politics?

Mistrust and unmet needs during the early years of life are often the root cause of most adult issues. How we parent will make a profound difference in the lives of our growing children who will one day be adults. Our goal should be to raise children who become emotionally healthy adults – adults who are capable of empathy, kindness, and compassion. Adults who bring trustworthiness and stability to their relationships and to the world around them.

Trust in your ability to bring your baby into the world,
Lenore Kilmartin