baby in field

Hey baby… by Lenore Kilmartin

Mothering

Hey, sweet baby of mine, its you, me and the moon shining brightly through the window…I look down at your chubby face, your brow furrowed, nursing at my breast, eyes closed, starfish hands, and I can no longer remember life without you even though we’ve only been officially mother and child for six months. Well that’s not quite true ’cause I’ve always thought of you as mine from the moment I knew you existed deep within my body, but the world became yours exactly 189 days, seven hours and 42 minutes ago.

There’s been some trouble brewing, but don’t worry, you’re safe with me and mama’s on it…just like its always going to be between us. There seems to be some concern, from baby sleep experts, that you and I shouldn’t be doing this…spending our nights nursing and cuddling close, in mama’s big bed, where we both rest and share sleep, knowing that we are secure, together, connected. Apparently, you should be sleeping away from me.

Lucky for you, I am the real expert here. I know you. You are mine. We are a unit connected through breastfeeding until you are ready to be on your own. You look for me and I’m here, sunshine or moonshine, the hour does not matter. You reach for my nipple and do not have to search, wait, wonder where I am. I am meeting all of your needs ’til the day you are so secure that with confidence you go out into the world you have been given.

Mama will be sure that your need for human touch, attachment, nutrition and safe-keeping have all been met through the continuum of our mother/baby relationship…day and night, over and over ’til you are so filled up, emotionally and physically, that you are free to fly… But in the meantime, we snuggle together, drifting into peaceful sleep, a small dribble of milk in the corner of your mouth, your breath gentle against my arm. I am here if you need me and always will be, sweet baby of mine.

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